stripforharry: soolooxcoopter: obesealpaca: When an employee at the McDonald’s drive through asks me how I’m doing, I always ask them back, just in case they need someone to talk to because you never know Those fries could be salted with tears So you’re the fucker who slows down the drive through there are two kinds of people
fffcuk: bettywhite4ever: fffcuk: it snew today i think i just busted vein from laughing so hard what the hell is snew an actual word the post that ruined my life
thecapricaydiaries: Do you ever sometimes think dirty thoughts when you’re in a public place and then start to think about if someone is telepathic so you start throwing around random things in your head like oooh cupcakes OMG I thought it was just me LMFAOO
aiclan: bbcsports: smilingemoticon: mikisayaka: its called the xbox 360 because you turn 360 degrees and then walk away ding dong u are wrong if you turned 360 degrees you would literally be facing in the same direction as you started and not walking away from it okay sorry
canadumb: thinsiqnificant: canadumb: *ducts tapes my laptop together* *duct tapes my life together* isnt that what i said
strifeandslash: safe sex is for losers (takes off knee pads and helmet)
Who invented the blow job? Like, who wakes up one day and thinks “today, I will suck a dick”
Mom: "You want to go to the store with me? We can...